Today I'll be

Tagged

2006-11-24T07:17:00.000-08:00

I was tagged by Hani ages ago, finally got around to it. I think its kinda fun.

I am thinking about..the reading I should be doing right now.

I said.. 'eight p.m.' two seconds ago.

I want to.. listen to Jimmi Hendrix and see what all the fuss is about.

I wish.. for sound-proof walls.

I miss.. places more than people.

I hear.. my sister reading outloud from her storybook.

I wonder.. why people keep weddings at night?

I regret.. being aloof.

I am.. a big fan of flowy ink pens.

I dance...when Life warrants it.. : )

I cry.. mostly when I am angry.

I am not always.. careful with my words

I write..to sort things out.

I need..excitement, color, sunshine, sugar-laden foodstuff, and my precious five.

I finish.. every book I start, even if its revolting...can't help it.

I tag...who ever is up to it.. :)

2006-08-29T21:36:00.000-07:00

when, at my most conflicted moments, there are thoughts swirling that refuse to slow down and walk in a line, I grab a pen and paper to draw. No doodling, no calligraphy,no mind maps,no flow charts...just draw.

this is one of those moments.

Write what you know

2006-07-28T03:17:00.000-07:00

Once, I had set out to pen “the story”, with characters that one hates to love and loves to hate. A story that picks up momentum perched on a frozen riverbank inhaling the crisp winter air,and begins trundling down wooden stairs towards an overstuffed mailbox.

Yet every attempt turned up dry. Those words lacked “oomph”,and to some extent even believability. You know, the specific satisfying details that only experience provides. Came to the realization that my favorite pieces of writing were usually non-fiction,and even the fiction were imitating life, like art often does.

What does this have to do with anything? Everything! This is the core, the eureka moment saying that the secret to writing , to getting started is as simple as ‘what you know’. That worked well for me, I would like to believe. Beginning with brief pieces on my home town on an international blog, and regular practice came an ease with penning observations.

Tonight, I attempt to write my first post here at The Fishtank and share an experience of an aspiring author. What I know is the all too familiar feeling of short phrases and statements floating around that can be so much more if given attention. In between answering the door, and completing a report, the plain urge to drop everything and communicate with you. You! The ever present, two or two thousand, readers in cyberspace, the essential audience. There is the almost unbearable urgency to relay what has been eating away at me for minutes/weeks/months. That somehow once its written down,hopefully coherent and legible, a dialogue will be sparked.The consuming process of stringing together words that truthfully represent one’s particular mind-heart combination to complete strangers. Each time the submission is on its way,sheer excitement of receiving feedback takes over. This I know.

What became of the ’story’ you ask? Oh, it is there all right. No quitter, I have some moments to enact and react to before it hits the bookshelves. Until then, consider giving writing a try? You can begin with the comments section.

(first submitted at TheFishTank)

2006-01-23T23:47:00.000-08:00

*a soft spot* (for inky doodles...)
*click*

I, too, have been

2006-01-06T23:18:00.000-08:00

Tagged...

UNIQUE
1. Nervous habits... me? nervous? heck no! :P
2. Are you double jointed... nah
3. Can you roll your tongue... no
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time…never tried that, probably can.
5. Can you blow spit bubbles...Yep.
6. Can you cross your eyes... Yep.
7. Tattoos... bubblegum ones count?
8. Piercings... Yes
9. Do you make your bed daily... ofcourse

CLOTHES
10. Which shoe goes on first?... the one closest to my hand.
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone... lol yes, in jest.
12. On the average, how much money do you carry…1500 rupees and an atm card.
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7...lil hoop earrings, black onyx and silver ring,and my Coach watch.
14. Favorite piece of clothing... jeans.

FOOD
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it... twirl.
16. Have you ever eaten Spam... No, but seen it up and close on a supermarket shelf.
17. Do you use extra salt on your food... There can never be extra salt. hehe..
18. How many cereals in your cabinet....1.
19. What's your favorite beverage...Tea.
20. What's your favorite fast food restaurant/chain...Hmm, Long John Silver's (are there any left?)
21. Do you cook... Yes Indeed.

GROOMING
22. How often do you brush your teeth... 3 times a day.
23. Hair drying method...blow-dryer
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair... affirmative.

MANNERS
25. Do you ever swear...
26. Do you ever spit...
I can answer both of these together: In public never.

FAVORITE
27. Animal... Killer Whale.
28. Food.... Rice
29. Month...hmm..prolly May.
30. Day... I like all of them.
31. Cartoon... Doug ( used to air on Nickelodeon way back when)
32. Shoe brand...Nine-West
33. Subject in school...Social Studies or Literature (tie)
34. Color... Purple (and every possible shade of it)
35. Sport... Tennis
36. TV shows... top ten countdown
37. Thing to do in the spring... be outside with my camera.
38. Thing to do in the summer... Catch up on some reading if I have the chance.
39. Thing to do in the fall...tons of plays and shows go on in Lahore, try to attend them.
40. Thing to do in winter...take walks, love the mild Lahore winter.
41. In the CD player...John Mayer, Room for Squares
42. Person you talk most on the phone with...my dad.
43. Reading... autobiographies
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows/mirrors... lol, who doesn't? not regularly, occasionally.
45. What color is your bedroom... smattering of maroon,black,and shocking pink. :D
46. Do you use an alarm clock... most definately.
47. Window seat or Aisle... Window

DUMB
48. What's your sleeping position... one side or another.
49. In hot weather do you use a blanket... nope.
50. Do you snore... nope. :P
51. Do you sleepwalk...No!
52. Do you talk in your sleep...nah
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals... Nah
54. How about with the light on... Nope
55. Do you fall asleep with the tv or radio on...Nope,iPod.
56. Last interesting person you met...Uhh...*thinks*, I'll come back to this.

TAGGING

Well I did this because Hani tagged me...and I tag :

BBCD
Flying Cow
Kashmiri
Merlin
Acro
and who ever else who feels up to it. :)

so these are the little things..

2005-12-22T00:39:00.000-08:00

that perk up my day. What am I going on about?

This, *ta-dah*, familiar junction/beggars galore/avert eyes/ignore ignore ending up on Chowk's Self-Publish section.

Tell me what you think...better yet, type it out...

so I took down her tattered journal of quotes, to share this with you

2005-09-25T14:21:00.000-07:00

Half the fun of the travel is the esthetic of lostness. Not being able to put Picadilly together with Regent Street or relate Hyde
Park to distant Charing Cross,
that is deliciousness.
To go down the Spanish Steps in Rome and

-Vanish.
To go out in Paris midnight crowds and wonder why you love it so, as
texture after texture drifts by and you wish you could walk forever...

familiar junction/beggars galore/avert eyes/ignore ignore

2005-09-15T11:37:00.000-07:00

oh,
wretched double-tap,
single handpress leaves a faint map I don't want to travel
a broken fate line and couple hundred sweaty whorls,

quick, eyes assume gaze at 'bottom of car floor',
(which needs a good vacuuming seems to me)
and daily 'aloof' act is begun once more.

a hurried knuckle-knock follows,
eyes have consulted the lit-up signal,
'n bare feet sense
failed motorbike kickstarts gain momentum
with suzuki revs resonating across
their asphalt home.

so stubborn,
traffic-weathered
all of me
doesn't budge
an inch.

as it's hand-shadow fades out
in the sudden lurch of
gear one,
i realize
it was the smallest shadow i'd ever seen...

how poetry re-entered my life, and how its here to stay

2005-09-09T11:07:00.000-07:00

Essentially I came upon e.e. cummings again..

love is a place
& through this place o
flove move
(with brightness of peace)
all places

yes is a world
& in this world of
yes live
(skilfully curled)
all worlds

-e.e. cummings No Thanks 58

and

pity this busy monster,manunkind,

not. Progress is a comfortable disease:
your victim(death and life safely beyond)

plays with the bigness of his littleness
--electrons deify one razorblade
into a mountainrange;lenses extend

unwish through curving wherewhen till unwish
returns on its unself.

A world of made
is not a world of born--pity poor flesh

and trees,poor stars and stones,but never this
fine specimen of hypermagical
ultraomnipotence. We doctors know

a hopeless case if--listen:there's a hell
of a good universe next door;let's go

-ee cummings 1 x 1 [One Times One] XIV

This I can read for hours...if I had those hours...

Vee K Shun Ing 'n Loving it!-thoughts that make sense to me.

2005-08-21T12:13:00.000-07:00

Yep. Jealous aren't you? Well, it was about time I got out of my side of town. (granted, I am still within the city limits.) Change does wonders for the human spirit. Its been a good three days.

On Revisiting childhood.

soccer (oops) i mean football, goal-keeping, 'chor-sepoy', 'murder,murder!', scrabble, monopoly-thons, Roald Dahl late night readings 'n falling asleep on top the books (don't you love Matilda?),quadruple choc. ice cream scoops 'n don't be stingy with the whipped cream, surprise attacks at 3 a.m./6 p.m./prayer-time/anytime really so watch out,watching the hell birds spread black clouds above us while heaven's rays retreated until angel tears rained down on us,homework sessions (brief..really brief),tag, listening to our grandma describe her netball exploits,learning 'Deedar De' by heart and singing it while driving through m-town...

this goes out those fab people who shared their lives with me this weekend. :)

On Never Calling.

its like that doorway you pass by daily, but never really take the time to approach. why? Part to avoid disappointment because you have built up great expecations and don't want them dashed; Part you haven't given it a second thought. Just a fleeting glance. And the guilt lingers..until it consumes you...

On Just Listening.

Just be there, with a smile, and open mind. its so easy. its like loving..effortless.

2005-08-16T02:03:00.000-07:00

cameras and long car rides go well together. try it. trust me, when the rj insists on playing only grunge metal and other clankier sorts of music, and by a cruel twist of fate the c.d.s aren't in the left side of the driver's seat,& info sys textbook doesn't look inviting... *snap*

2005-08-11T02:29:00.000-07:00

...lol...so my first day at 'school' this is what I find on the wall of the girls' common lounge... Today I'll be Amused...
*click*

being myself...be aware..its not pretty...

2005-08-01T14:47:00.000-07:00

...bored out of my mind? or procrastinating to no end?... i think staying up later then i plan to be every night for the past two weeks,endlessly searching, strangely avoiding all social contact,and realizing exam results arrive this month has caused my life to screech to a halt...*shrug* thats the way i feel right now... there is stuff going on, just no spark to it all.

...

2005-07-25T14:24:00.000-07:00

memories spill out at such inopportune moments, at other times merge beautifully with the current reality that they seem one. one such circumstance, beneath the drone of the ever-essential fan on an april day, between still-paint wet white walls, instances of walks down Michigan avenue come to the surface, perhaps I was willing myself to the where I last felt blessed to exist...
*click*

What gives?

2005-07-25T02:42:00.000-07:00

I seriously do not 'get' people at times...especially the friendly type...

2005-07-20T00:52:00.000-07:00

...chance encounter... :P
*click*

2005-07-15T23:39:00.000-07:00

crate of mango-ness...
*click*

2005-07-08T00:42:00.000-07:00

what are the odds??!!!

"and I don't lie"

2005-06-24T05:55:00.000-07:00

Heh!
that's new.
once again,
a lower low reached,
where my self-esteem hangs
(now resting on the last rung of self-respect)

why all this hypocrisy?

when did i start to lie?
why did i lie to myself?

as much as I Detest public
utterances of conviction,
the fools who hold their fragile/weak souls for the world to see,

only to break themselves
bit by bit
billion pieces
shattered afar.

admit it. you lie. say it.
louder.
you lie.

in defense:

not all the time.
only to keep them safe.
only to save you.

to save the bubble (where dreams nourish and grow)
from the fatal prick (reality slithers in unknown to you and i and stomps on dreams).

to save all that...there is no greater reason then this.

Bottom line:
You Lie.

"and I don't lie"
By Mars

2005-06-19T00:52:00.000-07:00

cholay-chickpeas!

:)

Today I'll be a Chef.

...headed in the right direction...

2005-06-01T08:12:00.000-07:00

an absolutely beautiful song by India.Arie.

Lyrics:

Headed in the right direction
I can see the light of day
I've got love as my connection
There's an angel showing me the way

Been reaching for love all my life
I couldn't find it
always one step behind it
Now I know it was mine all the time
finally I am

Headed in the right direction
I can see the light of day
I've got love as my protection
There's no need for me to be afraid

while studying, or in the car , "Voyage to India" is spinning constantly.

2005-05-28T04:58:00.000-07:00

shoppin' spree!

2005-05-05T21:03:00.000-07:00

Sketchy layout of what my dream living-room would look like...imagine honey and dark mahogany timber beams, books upon books, money plants, skylights, stepdown floor seating, "gol taakias" ( the roundish soft pillows),colors:raw silk magenta, honey mustard, khaadi like white, tea-ish cream...and wooden floors, and numerous throws...and ..and...so much more... :)

2005-04-19T21:28:00.000-07:00

Stalker... ;)..

2005-04-06T23:00:00.000-07:00

Designer

2005-04-05T04:36:00.000-07:00

*click*

2005-02-22T03:23:00.000-08:00

shadows playing across the kitchen table

2005-02-22T03:18:00.000-08:00

superbly clear sky

2005-02-22T03:14:00.000-08:00

caged in

photografia

2005-02-22T00:29:00.000-08:00

a beyond beautiful sunny day was yesterday
so I ventured out with my camera and managed to rack up over three hundred pictures
up and around M-town
the ones I photo-shopped and turned out ok
will be posted in the week to come.

Today I'll be a Photographer.

2005-02-19T13:05:00.000-08:00

On my way...to the final day

unemployed bum-and lovin' it!

2005-02-19T12:35:00.000-08:00

one year and three months of constant paper-shuffling, tea/coffee consumption, scripted greetings, 'do or die trying' deadlines, camera glare, swivelly chair, beeping usp's, last minute cancellations, ...resignation acception, priority reshuffling, swallowed tears,'not good-bye' good-byes...

12 hours after i now feel that the
options are endless:

i can

sleep late...don't sleep...sleep early...

read..sleep..educate...teach..

pace..run..jog..hop..skip..shuffle..

twirl...swirl...swing...swoop...

experiencing ...one day at a time... i realize...

i am free.

Today I'll be Unemployed.